Damn the Cell Phone

So I was planning on leaving this concrete jungle awhile ago but something stopped me.

After a night out knock back a few cold ones as Strong Bad would say I had to go to my office to gather my things in order to take the iron beast known as  the LIRR back to the shit hole I call Long Island.Now that’s unfair, all of Long Island is defiantly not a shithole. As every Bleach Blonde airhead and Juiced up Guido knows it can be a pretty swanky place if you know the right people. But as usual I digress……. So on my way back to the Weak Ass Island I realized that in my inebriated state I have left my cell phone in the office. Hence this post, the anger and utter fatigue after a night of intoxication has left me with the unshakable thoughts that all this effort and inconvenience is due to one device The Fucking Cell phone.I know I am not the first to bitch about this electronic leash as I have grown to call it, but any wasted time in the city is worth a bit of a rant in my opinion. So now I sit here typing in this blog that about 3 people read in utter disgust at myself for being bound by a piece of technology (although I fully understand that the Internets is a piece of technology that I am indivisibly bound to). So half drunk…..ok maybe a little more than half…..I have hiked myself down another 18 Blocks(You city folk may scoff, but I’m from the suburbs we drive next door) Just to retrieve this device of supreme importance. It is my only way to communicate with the outside world other than obtuse interwebs. Now to the story ( I warned you I was a little piss faced)After a night of drinking I returned to my office to retrieve my car keys. Then in the interest of saving money I walked to Penn Station which from here is about 18 blocks. I walk through the serene Amtrak station into the bowel of what is known as the LIRR. In this hot, sweaty, and over priced lair I proceed to sit myself down in the sparcley populated waiting area. Full with drunken city N00bs and heroin addicts and a couple of old ladies who just missed their train. I find a comfy chair because I really don’t give a shit who I sit next to regardless of the smell and I was tired as fuck. I sit and stare at the screen because somehow staring at it makes the time go faster. The clock strikes 12:00, on technological instinct I reached into my pocket.I find….
a pack cigarettes
a Wallet (whew)What I don’t find is my motherfucking cell phone, the piece of shit T-Mobile giveaway phone that my phone insurance company values at $300 because its run by a plethora of cunts. But once again I digress…..So basically at the time that good ol` train was boarding I find myself on a subway going back downtown to get the damn thing. And the only reason I made this trip BACK is because of the Admin of this blog.So if you actually read this whole rant leave a comment with a little FUCK YOU PYLE at the end of it to let me know that someone out there is reading and that my rantings do not fall upon deaf ears or blind eyes.

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